abessinier:

princessladybug:

roachpatrol:

abessinier:

1. You are responsible for your own media experience. 

2. There is such a thing as a healthy level of avoidance towards topics that make you feel unwell or even (in a real-life clinical definition of the term) trigger you - but you are the one to actively take care of what you view.

3. Avoiding does not mean policing others.

4. You have no right to tell artists to censor themselves - you may criticize what others do, you may dislike it, that’s fine - but actively asking for censorship when you could easily unfollow or block a person just makes you look incompetent in your use of the internet.

5. Do not give people on tumblr or /any/ website the responsibility for your emotional well-being. Because these people do not even know you so no, you have no right to ask them to take care of you.

6. Anonymous messages that tell you something nasty about someone aren’t a secret special tip-off from a heroic spy bringing truth to the masses. They’re the first resort of spiteful assholes launching smear campaigns. Treat them like the bathroom graffiti in the girl’s bathroom that says BRENDA’S A FAT SLUT, not like a manilla envelope some guy in a tux slipped you under the table in Prague. 

Do you know how close to real life therapy this is?!? Everyone on this stupid site uses policing people to prevent their triggers. I work in a mental health facility for teenagers. We talk about triggers all the time. We also talk about these things called coping skills and avoidance strategies.

At the end of the day you are only responsible for your own behavior and well being, not the stupidly of others.

Actually that is where I am coming from and after some people genuinely getting their panties in a twist over this post, I am so glad someone recognizes this. I study psychology and had my internship in a psychosomatic clinic where I worked in young adult therapy. Given that I suffered from depression, generalized anxiety, social phobia and probably a bunch of more things as a teen and have been through some therapies, I am not talking complete shit and coming from nowhere.

When I was a teen, I avoided school, I was actually locking myself in the bathroom and puking my guts out the day I was supposed to just say two sentences in church in front of an audience - my grades dropped, I told my parents I’d kill myself if I failed this year of school, I didn’t sleep for weeks and I didn’t eat etc. I worked really, really really hard towards living a ‘normal’ life. And I had to confront my fears and triggers over and over again. 

I thought everyone and everything around me had to change at th beginning and it’s probably normal to start off there. There is a time where you can’t do anything but lie down, for days and where you really need help from others. However, I honestly think that help does not lie with people on the internet, especially not on tumblr. 

The best piece of advice someone gave me when I was told I couldnt attend school anymore was to stay away from online-platforms where other people with mental illness exchanged themselves. The person saying this was my uncle, who suffered from depression and anxiety as well (runs in the family I guess). 

“You don’t get success stories in places like these.”, he said. “You only get to hear things that will depress you more, that will scare you even more, that will keep you from working your way out.” 

And if I read posts on tumblr, I think he was right. I think there are many people on tumblr who suffer from mental illness and those who are most active are the ones who are currently unable to attend school or work a job. but that’s just a theory. The scary thing in the treatment of mental illness in this place is, that it is asking for the surroundings to change, for this ‘blogosphere’ to be free of anything that /might/ harm a person with mental illness. It is a toxic kind of comfort these people are asking for. A kind of comfort that asks for stagnation - especially when in between great posts on mental illness like “Hey, if you slip up, that’s not the end of the world, it will be better!” disturbing mindsets like “It’s okay if you just want to curl up and die!” are to be found. Because no, that is not okay and nobody should have to feel this way about themselves and their life!

I didn’t write this post out of being butthurt about an artist getting censored or myself being asked to censor myself but mostly out of concern about the way the hivemind mentality on this page regards mental health, triggers and fiction and the way all of this is linked. 

I told you, you don’t get success stories in places like forums for mental illness but since I am drunk right now(Probably wouldn’t have told you my petty little sobstory if I weren’t): I went back to school and finished it (something my teachers didnt think possible), I studied and will get my BA this year and I lately got my dream job. But that’s all bullshit compared to one big thing: I am happy now. With my life, with myself and with the world.

Of course I am afraid it all comes crashing down once again. But that’s probably normal. I still have days where I feel like shit for no particular reason (and I am often horribly sorry my partner has to deal with them) but I know they will pass. And if they don’t, I know how to seek help and that there is no shame in admitting you need said help.

But to get there, it took time and hard work and first of all: The willingness to admit that my mindset had to change - because changing everyone and everything around me is doomed to fail anyways.